Standing in Holy Places

"We must be vigilant in a world which has moved so far from that which is spiritual. It is essential that we reject anything that does not conform to our standards, refusing in the process to surrender that which we desire most: eternal life in the kingdom of God. The storms will still beat at our doors from time to time, for they are an inescapable part of our existence in mortality. We, however, will be far better equipped to deal with them, to learn from them, and to overcome them if we have the gospel at our core and the love of the Savior in our hearts."

Thomas S. Monson, "Stand in Holy Places", Liahona and Ensign, November 2011

When I stand in holy places

and am careful of the things I

watch, listen to and participate in,

it's easier for me to feel the Holy Ghost

and I am better able

to weather the "storm" of

depression in my life.

The temple is the only place

where I don't feel depressed

and that's why I go

there so often.

Temples are definitely

holy places.

Rolling up my Sleeves and Getting to Work

"The Lord’s way is not to sit at the side of the stream and wait for the water to pass before we cross. It is to come together, roll up our sleeves, go to work, and build a bridge or a boat to cross the waters of our challenges."

—Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Providing in the Lord's Way", Liahona and Ensign, November 2011

For the past 8 years

or so I felt like I was

just waiting for this trial to pass.

I was wandering in the wilderness

as it reads in  1 Nephi 17:4,

"And we did sojourn for the space of many years, yea, even eight years in the wilderness."

Lehi's family was "sojourning" but
I definitely just wandered.
I didn't feel like I was making progress or

moving forward in my life.

I sort of just let my depression take over,

wandered about in the "wilderness"

and waited "for the water to pass."

The last year and half

I've been fighting back

and trying to take control

over my own destiny.

I usually can't control whether or not

depressing thoughts come into my mind

but I can control how long I let them stay.

Staying on the Path

A few weeks ago

I felt like I had reached my limit.

I was sooooo tired

of being depressed.

I told my husband,

"One of the hardest

things I face in

 dealing with depression

is that I feel

like I am doing everything right

and yet I'm not happy."

Today I watched a video

(about someone who also deals

with a mental illness)

that echoed what I had said earlier to my husband.

She said,

"It was just so hard for me to understand

why [having a mental illness] happened,

especially

when I was being so faithful

 and trying so hard to do what

 Heavenly Father

wanted me to do."

The challenge is

to keep doing what

I need to do

in order to return to my

Heavenly Father.

I know He is aware of me,

I know He knows how unhappy

I feel at times,

and I know He will send the

comfort and help

that I so desperately

need.

Below is a link to the video I watched.

http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=1146&sid=19704326&title=living-with-mental-illness-and-social-anxiety



Seeking after Praiseworthy Things

I love reading about or watching inspiring stories.

It's so uplifting

as I see other people

face obstacles

in their own lives

and overcome them

and then go on to help others.

The following is a story about

a 10 time cancer survivor.

TEN TIMES!!

Wow.

His Attitude

and Faith

are amazing.

The news article on his story reads,
"...he pushes on with faith that
God has a reason for afflicting him.
In fact, Travis says
he believes that he is blessed
to have such a 'visual' trial.
People know that he is sick,
and everyone rallies
to support him
and his family."

He knows what his purpose here on earth is.

 

http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=1137&sid=21124706&title=man-stricken-with-cancer-10-times-considers-himself-blessed#ooid=xxNTBjNTosEWfKaIrPNOnRB53ZGBuhhJ

 

 

Prayer

"Not a day has gone by that I have not communicated with my Father in Heaven through prayer. It is a relationship I cherish—one I would literally be lost without. If you do not now have such a relationship with your Father in Heaven, I urge you to work toward that goal. As you do so, you will be entitled to His inspiration and guidance in your life."

               —Thomas S. Monson, "Stand in Holy Places", Liahona and Ensign, November 2011
                                                      Topics: Heavenly Father, Prayer

I read this quote the other day

and it went along with something that I

overheard

 while my husband was listening to his scriptures on his iphone.

In 2 Nephi 10 : 20

certain words of this scripture stood out to me,

"...let us remember [God],

and lay aside our sins,

and not hang down our heads,

for we are not cast off...."

I've heard it said that we speak to God through

PRAYER

and that many times He speaks to us

when we read our scriptures.

Sometimes before I say my prayers

I feel like I've been a

disappointment to my Heavenly Father.

One more failed night of not going to bed early,

one more wasted day when I've been irritable and depressed, etc.
I know these are just lies from the adversary,
but sometimes I "buy" into them.

I felt like my Heavenly Father 

was telling me to NOT

hang down my head

thinking He was disappointed in me

and that I was cast off.

I love the a-ha moments where

the Holy Ghost

whispers the exact words that I need to hear.

And with that,

I'm going to bed on time tonight!!

Positive Thoughts

My Mr.

ROCKS!

I was having difficulty trying to add a button to my blog

and my smart husband accomplished this difficult feat (at least it is to me)

in under a minute or so!!

Thanks go to my sister for recommending

Hillary Weeks awesome website about keeping track of how many

positive thoughts deeds one does during a day.

I wanted to share a few of the ideas they suggest of what to click for,

"Anything that lifts, motivates and inspires us to live our potential is clickable!"

Individually

• positive thoughts
• compliments given and received
• things to be grateful for
• smiles given and received
• i love yous
• noticing the good in someone
• noticing the good in a situation
• noticing the good in yourself
• things you believe
• each time you have hope
• each time you see the hand of God
• acts of kindness
• each time you resist temptation
• each step closer to a goal
• minutes of exercise

With your spouse



• compliments given and received
• things you love about each other
• i love yous
• each time you think of your spouse
• noticing the good in your spouse
• acts of kindness
• each time you make each other smile or laugh

With your family

• acts of service
• acts of kindness
• kind words
• compliments given and received
• completed chores - homework, making beds, brushing teeth, etc.
• minutes of reading
• minutes spent together
• expressions of gratitude
• have a contest to see who can click the most in a day or a week

With your friends

• things you appreciate about each other
• compliments given and received
• kind words
• check in each day to support each other in your clicking goals
• have a contest to see who can click the most in a day or a week

With your Church group

• thoughts of the Savior
• minutes spent reading scripture
• thoughts of gratitude
• choose a topic (faith, hope, love...) and click each time you witness it in your life
• set a goal to reach a certain number of clicks together
• acts of kindness

In the work place

• acts of kindness
• each time customers are serviced
• going the extra mile
• each time a goal is seen in action
• positive words
• expressions of success





Here's to a lot of clicking!!

I'll post my clicks and see how the number changes.

Thank you, sis!

—Alma 36:3-4, Book of Mormon


"And now, O my son Helaman, behold, thou art in thy youth, and therefore, I beseech of thee that thou wilt hear my words and learn of me; for I do know that

whosoever shall put their TRUST in GOD 

shall be SUPPORTED

in their trials,
and their troubles,
and their afflictions,
and shall be lifted up at the last day.

And I would not that ye think that I know of myself--not of the temporal but of the spiritual, not of the carnal mind but of God."

Trust HIM

and I will feel supported

in ALL my trials,

troubles,

and afflictions.

Meet Rod

The following is a link to the website of the 12 Step Addiction Recovery Program.

Click on Rising from Rock Bottom and hear Rod's story. 

                             
                                                                         http://arp.lds.org/?lang=eng



I felt inspired

as I heard how Christ has worked in his life

with climbing his

Mt. Everest.

Training for Eternal Exaltation

Today has been a hard day.

I just read this and it put things into perspective.

I think that the hardest trials in our lives are the ones that are long-term...

the ones that test our limits of patience and long-suffering.

"Some might ask when faced with such suffering, how could Almighty God let this happen? And then that seemingly inevitable question, why did this happen to me? Why must we experience disease and events that disable or call precious family members home early or extend their years in pain? Why the heartaches? At these moments we can turn to the great plan of happiness authored by our Heavenly Father. That plan, when presented in the pre-earth life, prompted us all to shout for joy. Put simply, this life is training for eternal exaltation, and that process means tests and trials. It has always been so, and no one is spared."

—Elder Ronald A. Rasband, "Special Lessons", General Conference, Apr. 2012

The Sacrament and a Mighty Change of Heart

This past conference, Elder Robert D. Hales said,

"I testify that the sacrament gives us an opportunity to come to ourselves and experience ‘a mighty change’ of heart—to remember who we are and what we most desire. As we renew the covenant to keep the commandments, we obtain the companionship of the Holy Ghost to lead us back into our Heavenly Father’s presence. No wonder we are commanded to ‘meet together oft to partake of [the] bread and [water]’ and to partake of the sacrament to our souls."

—Elder Robert D. Hales, "Coming to Ourselves: The Sacrament, the Temple, and Sacrifice in Service", General Conference, Apr. 2012

I've been praying for a "mighty change of heart" and for a strong desire to take better care of myself starting with getting enough rest. I had an "Ah-ha" moment when I read this. I never thought of connecting the sacrament with receiving a change of heart. It's only through the help of my Heavenly Father that I can obtain this blessing. Next Sunday while I take the sacrament I will remember the desire and change of heart I am praying for.

I think that I will need this weekly reminder and in the words of Elder Hales,

"No wonder we are commanded to

‘meet together oft to partake of [the] bread and [water]’

and to partake of

the sacrament to our souls."

Don't wait to be asked

"Call me if you need anything."

How many times have we heard that or said it ourselves?

How many people actually take us up on our offer and call us? I know I have said it but I am trying harder to notice needs of others and do something without waiting to be asked.

I read a really good article the other day about someone who called her sick and bedridden friend and asked simply, "I’ve had you on my mind. I need to spend a few minutes with you to see if I can cheer you up a little. Do you think you could sit up and tolerate company for about 45 minutes?”

What she ended up doing was giving her a manicure and visiting with her.

I like the last paragraph,

"If my friend had called and asked me if there was 'anything she could do' for me, I would have told her no. If she had asked if she could come and give me a manicure, I surely would have refused, thinking it was the last thing I needed or wanted. She said only that she cared and wanted to cheer me up—and she fulfilled that promise by physically touching my hands and spiritually touching my heart."

To read the whole article:

http://www.lds.org/ensign/2000/04/more-than-a-manicure?lang=eng&query=manicure

But I don't want to...

I have had a crappy week and haven't felt like blogging.

I want this blog to be a source of encouragementand I don't feel like I have much to

give when I am in a depressive slump.

Someone told me that when I start feeling depressed I need to do something to

combat it instead of trying to hide from it. The longer I wait the harder it is to crawl out of the "slumps."

Yesterday I took my kids on a mommy daughter date to the Pizza Factory and we went shopping afterwards for some clothes for them. I look forward to the future when they beg me to go shopping for a new outfit. I was very surprised that they both seemed to enjoy picking different things out. What I wanted to do was crawl in bed and hide from the world. But today I organized my house even though I really, really didn't want to. And instead of hiding I read to my youngest and gladly accepted a request to help someone with a project. Service helps me forget completely and totally for a few moments about my struggles with this disease.

Lifestyle Changes

I was at my doctor's office

a few years ago

and he told me to stay away from



SUGAR.

"Pfph!!!"

and

"Ya Right!!!"

is what I said to him.

He told me that sugar is really

bad for those who are depressed.

I asked him, "Why then do I crave

Sugar

when I am depressed?"

It seems my body has this defense mechanism

when I feel depressed

where I crave foods such as

candy

or carbs

that gives me a mood "boost."
But I am also really, really irritable.

And THEN...

I crash,

and feel depressed all over again.

So I tried to completely go off sugar

and succeeded for about three weeks.

It's amazing when you try this and

find out that you don't crave those

things anymore.

But...

that approach isn't really practical

is it?

So over the past six months I have learned to replace those refined, over processed and unhealthy sugars with ingredients like:

honey, dark agave, 100% pure maple syrup, sucanat & coconut sugar.

A really good place to read more about why refined sugars are so unhealthy can be found on a blog http://www.simplehealthytasty.com/2008/04/ingredients-what-to-look-for-when.html

So I haven't given up treats, I just buy or make ones that are "healthified."

In order to get well, I have needed to make lifestyle changes which has included my diet. I will write more about this later in a following post. All I have to say is that my mood is so much better. I have more energy and I get depressed less often.

**As a side note: 

(Coconut sugar has a low glycemic index like that of an apple. I buy it from the grocery section on Amazon.com for a decent price and the sucanat I have bought from http://www.azurestandard.com/ I buy the agave and maple syrup from Costco or Sam's Club. I buy my honey from beekeepers in my hometown.)

Limitations and Accepting Them

I have had a bunch of

things on my

To DO List

for the past month.

My husband's parents

and siblings,

and my parents 

and my friends,

have been a huge blessing

as they have helped with various things.

My mother-in-law

called me the other day

and asked if I needed help

with the remaining things

on my To Do List.

She had already spent quite a few days

helping me and it was sweet of her to offer to help again.

I told her,

"Actually, I'm done. Even though there are a few things on the list,

I decided that I need to take care of myself

 and so I might do one or two more things

that are necessary

but other than that

I'm not doing anymore."

It felt so good to say that!!

Just to realize that

I can't continue to push

myself at the pace

I was keeping up

over the past couple of weeks

or I would probably trigger a depressive cycle.

I realize that I get stressed out easily

so anything that I can do

to not put unnecessary burdens

or responsibilities on myself is

KEY

to being emotionally,

                                      mentally,

                                                         spiritually,

                                                                            & physically

healthy.

Not MIA

So I have not been MIA,

let's just say that I have had

an overwhelming increase

in what I call

"Mommy Chores."

 I would start to get really stressed out,

but then I would call one of my friends for help with something

and the stress would

leave.

I am so grateful!!!!

My therapist told me that

she didn't think that my current circumstances

and the fact that I had recently told

some close friends of my illness

 were a coincidence.

She told me to ask for help

and I did even though it was hard for me.

I love helping other people

but when it comes to asking for help

I feel like I'm being a bother.

Through my experiences of the past few weeks

I have come to accept and recognize my limitations

which I'll be blogging about tomorrow!

I read a quote yesterday that comforted me.

I found it in Gerald N. Lund's book called Fire of the Covenant

which is about the Willie and Martin Handcart companies

and the trials and afflictions they faced.

It's by Elder Neil A. Maxwell who said,

"How could we expect to be joyous

and to receive ALL

that 'the Father hath'

if we do not strive to become like Him?

And, in fact, can we,

on our scale,

be like Him

WITHOUT sharing in the 

'fellowship of his sufferings'?

He shares with us His work;

does that not suggest

the need for

our sharing, too,

some of the 

suffering?

If in all of this there is some

understandable trembling,

the adrenaline of affliction

can help to ensure

that our pace

will be brisk

rather than casual.

His grace 

will cover us like a cloak--

enough to provide for

survival

but too thin

to keep out ALL

the cold.

The seeming cold 

is there to keep us

from drowsiness,

and gospel gladness 

warms us enough 

to keep going."

A little while ago I have a few good weeks in a row

and then seemingly all of sudden

I was depressed.

I was really, really, disappointed.

I had had the feeling that I was finally overcoming

the depression.

But as C.S. Lewis wrote, 
"Our Father [in Heaven] refreshes us on the
journey [through life]
with some pleasant inns,
but [He] will not encourage us
to mistake them for home”
(C. S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain, New York: Macmillan, 1967, p. 103.)

The brief respites and His grace enables us to keep going.

Frequency of Posts

Life's been a little crazy lately and that's why I haven't posted recently.

Plus, I never get on the internet when I'm home by myself and my kids are in school.

And after schook there's homework, dinner, and getting kids ready for bed.

Someone once said that she or her husband don't use the internet unless someone else is in the room.

With all the filth and junk on the internet, this provides a safety net

to keep oneself pure.

I decided that I would do the same to keep myself and my kids safe.

It's like "flying 500 feet above the treeline."

Watch the video below and you'll know what I mean.



                                                 

As an added side benefit, spending less time in front of the tv and computer

has helped in reducing the frequency of my depression cycles.

Yeah!



Purpose of this blog

The purpose of this blog is to help others

feel comforted and turn towards our SAVIOR

JESUS CHRIST.

Do you know someone who suffers

from depression?

Do you know someone whose family member

has a mental illness?

Please share this blog with them.

Please know that there is HOPE.

Please know that complete HEALING is possible

only in and through JESUS CHRIST.

Please work with your doctors.

Please see a therapist who will help you understand the mental illness
better and the lifestyle changes that one needs to make
in order to lead a happy, healthy life.

Please reach out and share with someone you

trust what you are going through.

Please don't isolate yourself.

You will need support from

family, friends, doctors,

and especially your SAVIOR.

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER give up!

Thank heavens I'm not an idiot...

I was reading a book today called, "The Potter and the Clay."

The author, Reed Moss, writes about his sister Lael who,

after a traumatic brain injury,

 gradually lost her ability to function mentally.

The story is set in the early 1930's

before MRIs and CAT scans even existed.

It is a sad story,

but it makes me grateful to see how far

 society and advancements in modern medicine

have come in treating the mentally ill.

Lael was institutionalized into a state school and one of the questions on the application was,

"...classification as to type of mental deficiency,

MORON,

   IMBECILE,

      IDIOT,

answer: moron."

I can just see my husband filling out a question like this

when I had to be in an inpatient program...

I can't help but laugh when I think of it.

Is your wife an idiot, moron, or imbecile?

(I think I'm going to ask him...)

Step 4 TRUTH

Step 4 TRUTH

KEY PRINCIPLE: Make a searching and fearless

written moral inventory of yourself.

Oh, NO...

I pray that as I start this inventory that I will be able to see things clearly

and not trigger a cycle of depression.
One symptom of depression is excessive self-criticism.
And I tend to do that waaaaayy too much.

My in-laws suggested that I just write down a few things.
I can do that.
So I have written down three things and when
I take care of those
I'll write down some more.
I can handle accomplishing this step
a little at a time.

I'm reminded of the scripture found in The Book of Mormon (you can get your FREE copy here http://mormon.org/free-book-of-mormon/ )

2 Nephi 4:17, 18, 19, 20

"...My heart exclaimeth: O ^bwretched man that I am! Yea, my heart ^csorroweth because of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.   I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily ^abeset me. And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins...."

Even Nephi, a prophet of God, felt "grieved" because of his iniquities.

BUT,

Rather than 

REMAIN
discouraged,

Nephi says, "...nevertheless, I know in whom I have ^atrusted.

My God hath been my ^asupport...."


God helped Nephi through all of his trials and afflictions.
As a faithful, obedient son of God, he was never left alone.

So the past week or so I have been depressed and didn't want to blog while I felt that way.

A week and a half ago I started to second guess myself.

I've told a handful of people about my disease and I felt a little vulnerable.

It's something that I've hid for so long.

When people ask me how I'm doing I usually say, "I'm good,"

instead of "Actually, I feel like crud.

I haven't showered today, exercised,

gotten enough sleep, (or whatever) and nor do I care to."

Mental illness is not like one of those "socially acceptable" diseases

that you can post about on Facebook

or where people bring you dinner.

And, actually, bringing a depressed person something like a meal

enables their behavior and makes their depression worse.

Why?

Because it's something that they can and should do for themselves.

So how do you help someone who is depressed?

 

It's all about being close to the Spirit.

Being able to tell when a friend doesn't seem like

herself

and sending her a little note in the mail,

or calling,

or whatever it is

that you feel prompted to do.

It's about sincerely asking that person,

"How are you honestly doing?"

And caring enough to listen.
It lets the person know that someone actually cares
and is aware that he or she is struggling.

Symptoms of Mania

This is a good "quote" from the National Alliance on Mental Illness website for the symptoms of mania.

http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=By_Illness&Template=/TaggedPage/TaggedPageDisplay.cfm&TPLID=54&ContentID=23037

What are the symptoms of mania?

Mania is the word that describes the activated phase of bipolar disorder. The symptoms of mania may include:

• either an elated, happy mood or an irritable, angry, unpleasant mood
• increased physical and mental activity and energy
• racing thoughts and flight of ideas
• increased talking, more rapid speech than normal
• ambitious, often grandiose plans
• risk taking
• impulsive activity such as spending sprees, alcohol abuse
• decreased sleep without experiencing fatigue

I share this quote to educate those who may not know or understand what mania is.

Symptoms of Depression

This is a good "quote" from the National Alliance on Mental Illness website for the symptoms of depression.

http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=By_Illness&Template=/TaggedPage/TaggedPageDisplay.cfm&TPLID=54&ContentID=23037

What are the symptoms of depression?

Depression is the other phase of bipolar disorder. The symptoms of depression may include:

• loss of energy
• prolonged sadness
• decreased activity and energy
• restlessness and irritability
• inability to concentrate or make decisions
• increased feelings of worry and anxiety
• less interest or participation in, and less enjoyment of activities normally enjoyed
• feelings of guilt and hopelessness
• thoughts of suicide
• change in appetite (either eating more or eating less)
• change in sleep patterns (either sleeping more or sleeping less)

I share this quote to educate those who may not know or understand depression.

When I am depressed I don't necessarily experience ALL of these symptoms,

 but I do experience a good handful.

The degree or intensity of the symptoms varies.

Just because I take medication for my illness doesn't mean I don't get depressed.

It is BECAUSE I follow my doctor's orders

that the severity of my symptoms are lessened and I am better able to manage my illness.

What is bipolar disorder?

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness website,

"Bipolar disorder, or manic depression, is a medical illness that causes extreme shifts in mood, energy, and functioning. These changes may be subtle or dramatic and typically vary greatly over the course of a person’s life as well as among individuals. Over 10 million people in America have bipolar disorder, and the illness affects men and women equally. Bipolar disorder is a chronic and generally life-long condition with recurring episodes of mania and depression that can last from days to months that often begin in adolescence or early adulthood, and occasionally even in children. Most people generally require some sort of lifelong treatment. While medication is one key element in successful treatment of bipolar disorder, psychotherapy, support, and education about the illness are also essential components of the treatment process."

Resources

National Mental Health Association

National Alliance on Mental Illness

National Alliance on Mental Illness—Utah Chapter

Above is a list of websites that can help those diagnosed with mental illnesses and their families. There are classes and support groups available.

Comic Relief

My husband and I went on a date last night to see a famous comedian, and it was actually clean comedy!

No dirty jokes, no crude humor...it was GREAT!

This whole past month has just been a lot of emotional upheaval and last night I laughed for about an hour and half straight.

I REALLY needed it!

Humor can heal.

My oldest child was blessed with a good sense of humor and I feel so blessed to be her mother. When she was just 2 months old

I was just holding her when she started to giggle.

So I giggled.

Then she giggled.

And didn't stop giggling.

I love this memory of her.

She has brought laughter, light, and love into our family ever since.

A wise man once said,

"I CAN'T

                          is a QUITTER

                                                   TOO LAZY to TRY"

I'm totally going to use this with my kids! And, more importantly...with myself.

12 Steps Towards Healing

My in-laws served a mission for our church right around the same time that I was experiencing the first of my symptoms of the bipolar disease. They were called to be facilitators for one of the Addiction Recovery Program meetings http://www.providentliving.org/familyservices/strength/0,12264,2873-1,00.html which are sponsored by LDS (Latter-Day Saint) Family Services to help those who struggle with addictions such as:

• Alcohol
• Drugs (both prescription and illegal)
• Tobacco
• Coffee and tea
• Pornography
• Inappropriate sexual behavior
• Gambling
• Codependency
• Disorders associated with eating

They sent me the workbook that the church uses for the 12 Step Addiction Recovery Program and I know they were inspired to do so. At the time they sent it I was in denial about my diagnosis and I was too angry and proud to go through the workbook. So I set it aside and basically forgot about it.

Eight years later I was sitting at our family computer when I looked over at the bookshelf and saw the workbook. As I glanced through the pages I started crying. It was like I was receiving one on one counsel and admonitions from my Father in Heaven about changes that I needed to make in my life.

While I don't have any addictions,

I was amazed at how well this program applied to my struggles with my illness and I felt that it could help me. You can download a copy of the workbook for free at http://providentliving.org/content/display/0,11666,8517-1-4751-1,00.html

I have seen how the 12 Step Recovery Program is helping me in my own life and I know that it will help others. For me it is like a road map to recovery and healing.

Each step includes a key principle, action steps, and a section called study and understanding. The last section is filled with scriptures to study and questions to answer and write down. It helps me to better understand how to apply each step to my life.

Step 1 HONESTY
KEY PRINCIPLE: Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addictions and that your life has become unmanageable.


Step 2 HOPE
KEY PRINCIPLE: Come to believe that the power of God can restore you to complete spiritual health.

Right now I am on: Step 3 TRUST in GOD.

KEY PRINCIPLE: Decide to turn your will and your life over to the care of God the Eternal Father and His Son, Jesus Christ.

I was reading a quote from the Lectures on Faith by our prophet Joseph Smith, Jr.

"Let us here observe, that three things are necessary in order that any rational and intelligent being may exercise faith in God unto life and salvation.

First, the idea that he actually exists.

Secondly, a correct idea of his character, perfections, and attributes.

Thirdly, an actual knowledge that the course of life which he is pursuing is according to his will. For without an acquaintance with these three important facts, the faith of every rational being must be imperfect and unproductive."

As I was reading the second thing that is necessary for faith in God I was struck by the word

"correct."

Sometimes I struggle with trusting my Father in Heaven and I know that it is connected to some INCORRECT ideas I have of God's character, perfections, and attributes.

When I was in college I used to carry my scriptures everywhere with me.

 They had their own little spot in my backpack. If I was feeling discouraged, homesick, anxious or whatever, I would open my scriptures and read.

 I always felt better after doing so. 

A thought occurred to me the other day that the past few years I have been relying too much on my husband for spiritual support and strength and that I needed to get back into the habit I started when I was a freshman in college...meaning, to more often turn towards God through scripture and prayer when I am feeling depressed.

Through the scriptures I will come to better understand CORRECT ideas of my Father's character, perfections, and attributes.

******Side Note: A copy of where and when the 12 Step Addiction Recovery Meetings are in your hometown...
http://www.providentliving.org/ses/emotionalhealth/contact/1,12169,2128-1,00.html