Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Updated Post: Conquer Your Mt. Everest

Why Mt. Everest?

IMAGINE yourself climbing Mt. Everest. You  can see the summit in the distance when you collapse and there's no way you can go any further. You're completely spent. You have absolutely no more energy left, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, or physically. 

Out of the corner of your eye you see the Savior (He is there because you humbly and prayerfully invited Him) coming to your aid and He helps you reach the top. I believe we all have a "Mt. Everest" in our lives. At different periods in our lives sometimes our trials are mountains, or hills, or boulders and sometimes they're only annoying pebbles in our shoes. The only reason we make it to the top is due to our Savior's Atonement. There's no way we can make it on our own, nor should we even try. (But we all try to sometimes, don't we? ;) ) My Mt. Everest in my life right now is the bipolar mental illness that I have.

Let me be clear. I AM NOT bipolar. I HAVE a mental illness called bipolar disorder. This disease does not define who I am and I will never say that I am bipolar. My worth is infinite and divine. My value does not come from what I have, what I can do, but from who I am.

I am a daughter of a loving Heavenly Father.

I have had many promptings that I needed to start a blog about my experiences. One thing has stopped from taking this step is mainly


Hence, the pen name. This blog will be full of very real and raw emotions and I feel I can be more open with a pen name. But should my identity really matter? I don't usually share the fact that I have a mental illness with those that I meet or even some of my closest friends. I have learned the hard way that there are many misconceptions about mental illnesses in general. Hopefully, I can to dispel some of those myths. (September 29, 2015) For the past 5 years I have progressed on my healing journey to the point where I am not ashamed of my disease. It is not something that I need to hide. There are many misconceptions about mental illnesses and I cannot dispel those myths if I choose to hide. Today I am much more open about my disease. There are so many people who suffer, so many families who lives are affected by a family member's mental illness. I promise that your hurt will turn into hope, your despair into determination to fight against the disease, your pain into peace. My name is Amber Martin and I am not my disease.

I hope that through my writing I will be able to learn to trust my Savior by laying this burden at His feet and receive the healing that I desire. Elder Dallin H. Oaks has said,

"Healing blessings come in many ways, each suited to our individual needs, as known to Him who loves us best. Sometimes a “healing” cures our illness or lifts our burden. But sometimes we are “healed” by being given strength or understanding or patience to bear the burdens placed upon us."

I don't think that I will be healed in the way where I will no longer have this disease; but I believe that I will receive my healing through the understanding, patience, and ability to bear this burden with ease.

Please listen to this amazing song by Hilary Weeks called Beautiful Heartbreak . You'll love it. I promise.

It's the perfect ending to this post.

Sunday, September 6, 2015

Blogspot You are Not my Friend

As you may have noticed, several photos on my blog have been removed courtesy of blogspot. Those were stock photos that I own. I am not happy with blogspot that they would just remove those photos without notice. I respect copyright laws. Any photos that I have used from simplehealthytasty.com I have received written permission from the blogger to use her photos on my own blog and referenced the website. (I love her food recipes and they are healthy & taste wonderful too!)

So, blogspot, you are not my friend and I will NOT recommend your company to others.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

My Tribulation is my Refining Fire and Amazing Motivation, Privilege, and Opportunity to Exercise my Faith in Jesus Christ

Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ:
 By whom also we have access by faith into this grace wherein we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing thattribulation worketh patience;
 And patience, experience; and experience, hope:
 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

Thursday, July 31, 2014

"The Hope of God's Light"

"I realize that it is part of our condition as mortals to sometimes feel as though we are surrounded by darkness. But even though we may feel lost that God promises to illuminate the way before us no matter how long it takes."

I was suicidal for an intensely long and painful year and a half. During this hell I fought like a lion to hold onto the thin thread of hope that my life would NOT always be like that. Also, during that time I receive proper medical attention and therapy. Eventually I decided that I was done thinking those thoughts, I refused to continue to entertain them and allow them to be a part of my life <-----which I was ONLY enabled to do so because of the medical help I received from qualified health professionals. I believe that God helps those who help themselves; He blessed my doctors and therapists with inspiration in knowing which course to take to best help me; He blessed me with the support of my family and extended family; He blessed me with a husband who rode valiantly through the storm with me even though it caused pain, worry and fears; He enabled me with the strength I needed to learn how to manage my illness and fight against the depression rather than letting the disease take over and rule my life.

I received the help I needed and therefore I made a subconscious decision that I was done thinking and entertaining those suicidal thoughts. I refuse to leave that legacy for my children. I choose instead to leave them a legacy of faith, of a mom who fights like a warrior against this disease until I hear those words when I meet my Maker, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant. Enter into My Kingdom. You are finally free at last!" I choose to live a long life. I choose to live into my 90's, God willing, and love my age and serve HIM with all my heart, mind, and soul.

If you are suicidal, don't try and handle this burden all on your own. Get medical help immediately. Tell someone, anyone. Tell a trusted friend or family member. There are support groups out there. You are not alone and never need to feel that way. Go to Nami.org and find a support group in your area.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

I Needed to Read this Today

"Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son love all of God’s children no matter what they choose to do or what they become. The Savior paid the price of all sins, no matter how heinous. Even though there must be justice, the opportunity for mercy is extended which will not rob justice."
—Henry B. Eyring, "To My Grandchildren"
Topics: Atonement

'Nuff Said. (:

How we Change Behaviors to Become a Better Person

"We can change our behavior. Our very desires can change. How? There is  only one way. True change—permanent change—can come only through the  healing, cleansing, and enabling power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ."

--Russell M. Nelson, "Decisions for Eternity" Topics: Atonement

For things to change in my life, I MUST CHANGE. And I make permanent changes in my life through the "enabling power of the Atonement." I am successful with life changes when I rely on my Savior.