Thursday, August 21, 2014
Thursday, July 31, 2014
"I realize that it is part of our condition as mortals to sometimes feel as though we are surrounded by darkness. But even though we may feel lost that God promises to illuminate the way before us no matter how long it takes."
I was suicidal for an intensely long and painful year and a half. During this hell I fought like a lion to hold onto the thin thread of hope that my life would NOT always be like that. Also, during that time I receive proper medical attention and therapy. Eventually I decided that I was done thinking those thoughts, I refused to continue to entertain them and allow them to be a part of my life <-----which I was ONLY enabled to do so because of the medical help I received from qualified health professionals. I believe that God helps those who help themselves; He blessed my doctors and therapists with inspiration in knowing which course to take to best help me; He blessed me with the support of my family and extended family; He blessed me with a husband who rode valiantly through the storm with me even though it caused pain, worry and fears; He enabled me with the strength I needed to learn how to manage my illness and fight against the depression rather than letting the disease take over and rule my life.
I received the help I needed and therefore I made a subconscious decision that I was done thinking and entertaining those suicidal thoughts. I refuse to leave that legacy for my children. I choose instead to leave them a legacy of faith, of a mom who fights like a warrior against this disease until I hear those words when I meet my Maker, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant. Enter into My Kingdom. You are finally free at last!" I choose to live a long life. I choose to live into my 90's, God willing, and love my age and serve HIM with all my heart, mind, and soul.
If you are suicidal, don't try and handle this burden all on your own. Get medical help immediately. Tell someone, anyone. Tell a trusted friend or family member. There are support groups out there. You are not alone and never need to feel that way. Go to Nami.org and find a support group in your area.
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
"Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son love all of God’s children no matter what they choose to do or what they become. The Savior paid the price of all sins, no matter how heinous. Even though there must be justice, the opportunity for mercy is extended which will not rob justice."
"We can change our behavior. Our very desires can change. How? There is only one way. True change—permanent change—can come only through the healing, cleansing, and enabling power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ."
--Russell M. Nelson, "Decisions for Eternity" Topics: Atonement
For things to change in my life, I MUST CHANGE. And I make permanent changes in my life through the "enabling power of the Atonement." I am successful with life changes when I rely on my Savior.
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Lift up your soul in prayer and explain to your Heavenly Father what you are feeling. Acknowledge your shortcomings. Pour out your heart and express your gratitude. Let Him know of the trials you are facing. Plead with Him in Christ's name for strength and support. Ask that your ears may be opened, that you may hear His voice."
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
"Do you find yourself hating what you are doing but not able to find the willpower to turn away from it? Then reach out and humble yourself. The Lord's enabling power is sufficient to change your heart, to turn your life, to purge your soul. But you must make the first move, which is to humble yourself and realize that only in God can you find deliverance."Sometimes that "hating what you are doing" is actually "hating yourself" and even the bad habits you turn to when you are depressed. I've already blogged about what my depressive habits are and you can read about those in this blog post ). When you are depressed it is hard to be "able to find the willpower to turn away from [whatever it is that you find yourself hating what you are doing]."
It may be hard, but the only way to receive help is through God's divine help. He will empower you to overcome anything.
You will receive the ability
and power through HIM who
is mighty to save.
|This is our "castle" in the background.|
Actually this is Ben fiddling around
with that awesome program called Photoshop. LOL!
I desire for my husband and I to be equally yoked in our marriage. I know that he has felt that he was the one carrying all of the weight for the responsibilities of our family. I want him to feel supported, for our marriage to be free from contention, and for some more healing to take place. I know that some healing has already occurred. I am making deposits in our marital relationship banking account and I hope that my sweet husband can feel the difference. They have been small, but I am determined to be consistent and through the companionship of the Holy Ghost our bond with each other will grow stronger than it ever has been before.
"It is only with the companionship of the Holy Ghost that we can hope to be equally yoked in a marriage free from discord. I have seen how that companionship is crucial for felicity in a marriage. The miracle of becoming one requires the help of heaven, and it takes time."