Sunday, August 12, 2012

Standing in Holy Places

"We must be vigilant in a world which has moved so far from that which is spiritual. It is essential that we reject anything that does not conform to our standards, refusing in the process to surrender that which we desire most: eternal life in the kingdom of God. The storms will still beat at our doors from time to time, for they are an inescapable part of our existence in mortality. We, however, will be far better equipped to deal with them, to learn from them, and to overcome them if we have the gospel at our core and the love of the Savior in our hearts."

When I stand in holy places
and am careful of the things I
watch, listen to and participate in,
it's easier for me to feel the Holy Ghost
and I am better able
to weather the "storm" of
depression in my life.
The temple is the only place
where I don't feel depressed
and that's why I go
there so often.
Temples are definitely
holy places.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Rolling up my Sleeves and Getting to Work

"The Lord’s way is not to sit at the side of the stream and wait for the water to pass before we cross. It is to come together, roll up our sleeves, go to work, and build a bridge or a boat to cross the waters of our challenges."

For the past 8 years
or so I felt like I was
just waiting for this trial to pass.
I was wandering in the wilderness
as it reads in  1 Nephi 17:4,
"And we did sojourn for the space of many years, yea, even eight years in the wilderness."
Lehi's family was "sojourning" but
I definitely just wandered.
I didn't feel like I was making progress or
moving forward in my life.
I sort of just let my depression take over,
wandered about in the "wilderness"
and waited "for the water to pass."

The last year and half
I've been fighting back
and trying to take control
over my own destiny.
I usually can't control whether or not
depressing thoughts come into my mind
but I can control how long I let them stay.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Staying on the Path

A few weeks ago
I felt like I had reached my limit.
I was sooooo tired
of being depressed.
I told my husband,
"One of the hardest
things I face in
 dealing with depression
is that I feel
like I am doing everything right
and yet I'm not happy."

Today I watched a video
(about someone who also deals
with a mental illness)
that echoed what I had said earlier to my husband.
She said,
"It was just so hard for me to understand
why [having a mental illness] happened,
when I was being so faithful
 and trying so hard to do what
 Heavenly Father
wanted me to do."

The challenge is
to keep doing what
I need to do
in order to return to my
Heavenly Father.
I know He is aware of me,
I know He knows how unhappy
I feel at times,
and I know He will send the
comfort and help
that I so desperately

Below is a link to the video I watched.