I've been struggling with a little depression lately and that's why I haven't posted. But I came across a quote yesterday in a book I was reading that had to do with this post. I don't think it's a coincidence that I keep coming across quotes or messages about this topic.


"Life is not perfect. And sometimes in your world...you need things to go exactly as you've planned....But you forget...we are here living God's plan. Sometimes things might seem like they are falling apart or going wrong because God has something better planned for us around the corner....Life is a learning journey....But sometimes I think you forget the lessons being taught."

-Beth Wiseman, author

Thank you Heavenly Father, for reminding me to persevere.

*Persevere: "to persist in anything undertaken; maintain a purpose in spite of difficulty, obstacles, or discouragement; continue steadfastly "

-http://dictionary.reference.com

Lesson to learn: to persevere "...in spite of difficulty, obstacles or discouragement."

What I've Done over the Past 5 Months to Drastically Improve how I Feel

There was an interesting article posted on Facebook that talked about sleep aids, over the counter and prescription and their long and short term affects. Since I am not a medical profession, it would be best & wise if you talked to your doctor ALWAYS, no matter what you hear or read. I am very med compliant and always will be. 

I do like both conventional and natural medicine but found it interesting to read how some over the counter medications affect our bodies in the long term. That's why if I can I will take or do something that is more natural. Talk to a health care professional before you try anything. I am not your doctor. (: I can only write my OPINION on what helps me (i.e. doTERRA oils and nutrition). Some nights I do have a hard time falling asleep and that is why my favorite oil is Serenity & probably always will be! (If you become a doTERRA member, the oils are A LOT cheaper and you get loyalty reward points back that you can use for free products).

Here's a quote from that article I mentioned,



"You’re far better of finding safe and natural solutions that will actually address the underlying causes of your sleepless nights instead of just cover up the resulting symptoms."

-Boby Truther (interesting last name, Boby, lol)

I liked how he made suggestion to find the root cause of a sleep problem. You can read the full article in it's entirety here

Another reason why I like essential oils? I still have symptoms of depression and anxiety, they're just more manageable and less intense because of the medications I take. (By the way, I'll never write down medication names, which ones worked and which ones didn't. I don't think that would be right. Everyone's DNA is so unique that what didn't work for me works miracles with the next person.) 

At the BRIDGES Teacher training I found that a feeling of being "choked" is a symptom of an panic attack. I experience this off and on but didn't know it was an anxiety attack. Someone in our group asked me what I do when I feel that way and I asked, "Honestly? I use this doTERRA oil called SERENITY and just rub some directly on my throat. It calms things down and the feeling goes away."

So...if I find something that has helped me combat my depression and anxiety then yes, I will share what I know. About six months ago I was miserable and thought that this was as good as my life was going to get. I was tired of being depressed for 2 1/2 months at a time and then having a good week and slipping back into depression. Most people didn't know I was depressed. Apparently I looked fine on the outside! Or...I hid it well and didn't talk about it. So what has changed since then to help turn things around? (my meds have stayed the same for years, which is a blessing)


-Learning more about Nutrition & I'm eating healthier.

-Using doTerra oils regularly (several help with anxiety and/or depression). I do sell doTERRA from my website, but I actually like an oil that a company called Young Living sells. It's an oil blend called JOY and I like it better than the doTERRA equivalent. I don't sell for them or have an account but I like the oil JOY so much that I patronize the company just for that one oil.

-My awesome and amazing mentor/coach & my mentoring group who I have learned so much from (They're amazing cheerleaders!). My mentor has helped me with my blog and has helped me overcome negative thought patterns that were holding me back and keeping me stuck.

-My Faith. I'm spending A LOT more time in my scriptures, listening to uplifting music, listening to the Mormon Channel, writing positive things about myself in my journal (helps you to learn to truly love and accept yourself), praying and spending more time that I ever have truly listening for answers.

-Exercise! I have biked & hiked this week. And I have gone up and down a ladder today picking apples!  <---I consider that exercise! I'm a little worn out and I'm still not done several hours into it! Thanks to the neighbor who gave me permission to have the (organic!) apples which were just going to go to waste. Tomorrow's agenda, canning...

-Service. Through thinking of others and finding ways to serve them my life has been tremendously blessed. This is the KEY to true happiness. Like President Hinckley's father said, "Forget yourself and get to work."

Play Your Part...Educate Yourself about Mental Illness

Lifetime Original Movie "Call Me Crazy" Actors Speak Out

NAMI and the TV television channel Lifetime partnered to put together what looks like an amazing film that sheds light on many mental illnesses: schizophrenia, bipolar, PTSD (from a veteran's perspective). Thanks go to these actors who chose to add their voice to the importance of mental health education.

This "Call Me Crazy" movie trailer posted on YouTube made me cry. 

It stirred up a lot of emotions and I could relate in so many ways. It is true that your mind is where you think, dream, struggle BUT...you have a spirit inside of you that helps you overcome the natural man. Let me explain what I mean by this. Say I have a hard time forgiving myself & letting things go (a disease symptom by the way). I can learn healthy coping skills and tools that will help me overcome negative emotions and put them behind me. I don't have control over the fact that I have this disease but I do have control over "how" I let it affect my life. Will I be a bystander in my own life? Will I let (yes let, you do still have a choice) this disease take over and control my life? Or will I be an active participant in my recovery? Will I use the right tools to fight my battles against depression? I promise that today, while my kids are gone, that I will use the Empty your Bucket tool. Will you? Comment below!

I have often said that a mental illness is not only a physiological disease but it is also a thinking disease. As I was reading my BRIDGES Teachers Manual I was amazed at the "HOW" & the "WHY" mental illness alters our thoughts. My whole goal for my blog is to not only record my journey towards healing but to empower women AND their families, to initiate dialogue and understanding, & to help women realize how much control they really do have over their illness. 

In the beginning a person, like myself, can feel like they are "broken." This feeling generates negative emotions that are self-destructive like helplessness, hopelessness, & despair. Training in how to overcome your negative emotions does wonders for your recovery and happiness.

There is HELP, HOPE, RECOVERY, HAPPINESS, JOY, HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS, BALANCE, & PRODUCTIVITY available to those who struggle and this pertains to ALL of the mental illnesses, not just mine. 

KUDOS to Lifetime for addressing what once was a taboo subject and kudos to NAMI for being able to get their messages out there among the general public (I can't advocate for or approve of the movie, YET...since I haven't seen it. I hope it's clean with no bad parts!). During my BRIDGES teacher training I was very impressed with the resources and education NAMI provides. Please support NAMI, they do so much good for those with a mental illness, their families, and in educating the public.

You Are Capable!

"If we did all we were

capable

of doing, we would

literally astound ourselves."

-Thomas Edison, inventor

I was listening to the radio last night and the lyrics of a song said that no matter what she did or how hard she tried she couldn't change. That's a lie. Satan uses this deception to get us to give up, to STOP trying. There is always hope. Satan will try to make you think that there's no use trying...he wants you to feel despair and laughs when you do. Don't let him win. 

I KNOW that God doesn't want us to despair and give up. I know that He will see you through any obstacle or trial...all you have to do is turn towards Him through obedience, faith, and trust.

NEVER NEVER NEVER give up.

Kale!

This year has been a little disappointing with my garden. We've had some goats get into the garden and nibble away at peppers, squash, and tomatoes like there's no tomorrow but apparently they don't like Kale! Ha, ha.

My husband and I took our kids out to eat and we were pulling into the restaurant's parking lot when my husband informed me that the chickens were loose. I started to cry. I had been gracious with the neighbor goats in my garden but I had heard that chickens would destroy young tender plants...so I guess the chickens were the last straw for me. I was willing to drive all the way home to lock those little peckers up but my husband called our "downstairs" neighbor, his dad, and he rounded them up into the coop.

You work so hard all summer long tending to your garden, weeding, planting, watering that you want it to produce, to yield a great harvest. This year I've been very successful at growing volunteer onions from last year and all of this kale. (I've already harvested it twice, it keeps growing back!) I just printed some recipes because all I know to do with it is to throw in green smoothies and make kale chips.

Dinosaur Kale on the left and White Russian Kale on the right.
The White Russian Kale is actually a plant start that I ordered last year but didn't want to plant because of the lateness in the season so I kept it alive all fall and winter. How's that for Kale success?! (: 

Pioneer Day

In my church we celebrate the day the Mormon pioneers arrived in the Salt Lake Valley on July 24, 1847. They came to Utah to escape persecutions...they fled after: homes and livestock were burned and destroyed, family members shot and killed or who died from exposure to the weather while fleeing angry mobs, an unfortunate and shocking "extermination order" from Missouri governor Boggs and after our beloved prophet Joseph Smith was martyred in a jail in Carthage, Illinois.

When they finally arrived in Utah the pioneers planted crops, family gardens, and trees and the desert waste place of Utah flourished and became beautiful. They also developed friendly relationships with the local Indians.

One of my ancestors was in the Willie Hancart Company that faced great difficulties because of the weather and lack of sufficent food and clothing. My grandma is my hero. She left her family and a young man who was interested in her but who didn't join The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. She was 24 and considered an old maid but her bravery in starting a journey across the Atlantic Ocean without the support of a family is commendable and admirable. It was her belief in Jesus Christ and her new found faith that drove her forward. 

Because of many miracles along the way her life was spared and she met another Englishman when she arrived in Utah who she later married and raised 14 children with. A few years ago a movie was made based on true stories from the experiences of pioneers in the Martin and Willie Hancart company. Here is the trailer from that movie called "17 Miracles."

Attitudes Towards Adversity Affects our Results

You know the saying, "When it rains it pours?" Well, what if that "rain" is preparing us for something FANTASTIC that is just around the corner and we just need to keep pressing forward with faith in order to obtain it? 

For example...I was driving my kids to a small water park a few weeks ago to meet up with family. I was on the freeway going 75 mph when my SUV started shaking every time I pressed down on the gas pedal. I could maintain speed, barely, but I had slowed to 60 mph because of traffic in front of me and couldn't accelerate later when I tried. I kept praying that the cars behind me would recognize in time that I was driving slower than the speed limit and not hit me. I also kept saying over and over, "OH, please, oh please don't be a flat tire." I pulled off the freeway on the next exit. I parked and got out and walked around and checked all the tires. All good! I then got back in the car and the "check engine" light came on. So I drove through back roads and limped my SUV a couple of miles to our mechanics shop. It needed a complete tune-up. A couple of hundred dollars later...all fixed, right?

My husband then drove the SUV to Scout Camp a week later and the brakes started acting up. He took it to Les Schwab to look at it and when they looked at our tires they wouldn't even pull our tires off our SUV because our tires had worn down past the tread line. So we drove it to our mechanics shop and they fixed the brakes and pads, and a couple of hundred dollars later...(:

The handles on this SUV broke so you can't open the driver's door or the back from the outside or the passenger's door from the inside. So, my husband ordered some replacement handles to fix it. 

Also, our SUV and car developed the same problem that needs to get fixed as soon as possible in order to pass inspection next month. 

So, with new tires we will have poured in just about as much money as our SUV is worth! But, my husband told me that it is mechanically sound and I'm just grateful we can afford the repairs and that we don't have a car payment because both our vehicles are paid off.

During adversity, look for tender mercies 

that are blessings from Heavenly Father.

It is a tender mercy that our cars ran so well at the beginning of this year when my husband decided to become completely self employed. That was one expense that we didn't have to worry about. My husband and I have been praying about something for a few weeks and in a round about way, this adversity with our SUV has helped us know our answer.

During Sunday School in church on Sunday someone made the comment that,

"Adversity compels us make decisions.

It forces us to come to terms with

our values and our beliefs."  

And then later in the lesson the Sunday School teacher said,

"Adversity is often a stepping stone for what comes next in our life."

It is often through other people that Heavenly Father answers our prayers and gives us the counsel that we needed to hear.

If we react negatively to adversity and temporarily give up hope we may "miss the boat" and lose out on the rewards and blessings that the Lord had in store for us...those that were just around the corner and determinant upon our faithfulness.

Meet Al Fox

In Al's blog post about her conversion to the gospel of Jesus Christ I love how she says to, "Keep going always." Her story is about not giving up and to keep going forward because as she said, "...the moment you stop- the moment you take a break, even a short one- that is when fear- and doubt- and anxiety- and temptation start to creep in."

My favorite quote in the video?

When she said, "Forget not whose hands your are in...to forget not that you have a God, you have a god and He is yours, yours to keep, yours to turn to always, and the power behind that when you remember that, because God, how powerful, He has all the power and if He is for you, if He is yours, you can overcome and conquer everything. And it is so easy to lose sight of that. It's so easy to lose sight of that love that's real, for us...to lose sight that He will do everything to allow us to return home. That was part of His plan the whole time is to return to Him...

Hard times will consistently be there, 

                                                    

BUT 

                                                           

SO WILL CHRIST."

I really needed to hear this today. I love things that are uplifting and positive.

Faith to Climb Mountains

The following quote pertains to infertility but the same applies no matter what trial we are facing. Instead of praying for mountains in our way to be removed, pray for the faith to climb them. That faith helps you endure.

"Ultimately the question for many is, "If faith doesn't mean being able to get what I want, what does it mean?" The answer to that question is not the same for everyone. One infertile woman said that her crisis of faith had been healed by the Savior's example. She had wanted her faithful prayers to heal her infertility. She had tried not to doubt God or His power to heal, and she sought to live the kind of life that she felt merited her Heavenly Father's help. She believed that her faith could remove this mountain of frustrated dreams. Yet, her infertility persisted.

Finally, she realized that Christ, whose perfect faith had healed lepers, given sight to the blind, and raised the dead, and who had pleaded that his bitter cup be removed if possible - had finally been spared neither the agony of Gethsemane nor the pain of the Crucifixion. Christ's perfect faith had not altered Gethsemene, but rather helped him to endure it. This woman came to see her faith in a different light - not as an imperfect faith that had been insufficient to remove her trials, but as a vibrant faith that could help her endure them. Not faith to move mountains, but faith to climb them!" 

- President Gordon B. Hinckley

Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing

This Sunday at church I am going to be playing a piano and organ duet with my friend Karen. I remember I got goosebumps the first time I heard an organ and piano duet played by some missionaries. There is something powerful when those two instruments are combined. 

We're playing the song "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing." We joke that this is our ward's theme song since it's been played so many times by different people in our ward. But, I think it's been at least a year since the last time so we should be okay. (:

I think the reason it's so popular is that it describes our struggle to do what's right and our desires to be better. But we realize that because of the natural man in us we are prone to wander from the God we love. We want to be with our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ in their heavenly courts and be worthy to live in their presence.

"Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love

Here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above"

The only thing we can offer HIM is our hearts, to give up our will and follow HIS will for us.

(The Mormon Tabernacle Choir

singing this song).

Paying it Forward

 In Kindergarten one of my kids really struggled to learn her sight words and was behind in her reading when she entered first grade. With the help of some amazing reading specialists at her school and one on one reading with a "reading grandma" tutor she finally learned how to read!!!

I am so grateful for the help she received. I worked really hard to help her at home but she would often get frustrated with mom (; Since then she has really taken off in her reading and begs to go to the library.


So when my Stake Relief Society asked us to volunteer to be reading tutors at this school that is one of the poorest performing schools in our state I wanted to pay it forward because of the help my child received.

This is the blue card that he gave me on the last day. Cute, huh?
That's apparently me on the right with a  book to read to him
although he was the one that always read to me. (:

"Scooer book" also known as the book about soccer that
I gave to him as a gift. I hope that he will read it throughout this
summer because it is a long book!

Push Past Your Fears

To not take counsel from our fears means that faith in the Lord Jesus Christ overrules our fears and that we can press forward with a steadfastness in Him. To not take counsel from our fears means that we trust in God's guidance, assurance, and timing in our lives."

—David A. Bednar, "Christ Overrules Our Fears"
Topics: Fear, Faith

This is very applicable to my life right now.

My hubbie  & I have decided to 

take a huge leap of faith

with regards to how 

he provides for our family.

Surprisingly, I have been 

very much at peace, 

which is huge for me. 

Normally, change is a trigger 

for my depression. 

I feel that my hubbie & I are 

pushing past any fears

& we're definitely NOT 

taking any "counsel" from them...

also known as 

letting your fears stop you 

from obtaining your dreams .

Standing in Holy Places

"We must be vigilant in a world which has moved so far from that which is spiritual. It is essential that we reject anything that does not conform to our standards, refusing in the process to surrender that which we desire most: eternal life in the kingdom of God. The storms will still beat at our doors from time to time, for they are an inescapable part of our existence in mortality. We, however, will be far better equipped to deal with them, to learn from them, and to overcome them if we have the gospel at our core and the love of the Savior in our hearts."

Thomas S. Monson, "Stand in Holy Places", Liahona and Ensign, November 2011

When I stand in holy places

and am careful of the things I

watch, listen to and participate in,

it's easier for me to feel the Holy Ghost

and I am better able

to weather the "storm" of

depression in my life.

The temple is the only place

where I don't feel depressed

and that's why I go

there so often.

Temples are definitely

holy places.

Seeking after Praiseworthy Things

I love reading about or watching inspiring stories.

It's so uplifting

as I see other people

face obstacles

in their own lives

and overcome them

and then go on to help others.

The following is a story about

a 10 time cancer survivor.

TEN TIMES!!

Wow.

His Attitude

and Faith

are amazing.

The news article on his story reads,
"...he pushes on with faith that
God has a reason for afflicting him.
In fact, Travis says
he believes that he is blessed
to have such a 'visual' trial.
People know that he is sick,
and everyone rallies
to support him
and his family."

He knows what his purpose here on earth is.

 

http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=1137&sid=21124706&title=man-stricken-with-cancer-10-times-considers-himself-blessed#ooid=xxNTBjNTosEWfKaIrPNOnRB53ZGBuhhJ

 

 

—Alma 36:3-4, Book of Mormon


"And now, O my son Helaman, behold, thou art in thy youth, and therefore, I beseech of thee that thou wilt hear my words and learn of me; for I do know that

whosoever shall put their TRUST in GOD 

shall be SUPPORTED

in their trials,
and their troubles,
and their afflictions,
and shall be lifted up at the last day.

And I would not that ye think that I know of myself--not of the temporal but of the spiritual, not of the carnal mind but of God."

Trust HIM

and I will feel supported

in ALL my trials,

troubles,

and afflictions.