The Sun is Still Shining!

The sun is still shining even when it's overcast and grey. I love the majesty and beauty of the sun's rays peeking through the clouds. It's like hope that peeks through the storms of depression. I've been borrowing my father-in-law's UV lamp that I affectionately call the happy lamp. It's been overcast, grey & dismal weather lately and I was willing to settle for some needed artificial sunshine!

A brief glimpse of the sun this afternoon!

Play Your Part...Educate Yourself about Mental Illness

Lifetime Original Movie "Call Me Crazy" Actors Speak Out

NAMI and the TV television channel Lifetime partnered to put together what looks like an amazing film that sheds light on many mental illnesses: schizophrenia, bipolar, PTSD (from a veteran's perspective). Thanks go to these actors who chose to add their voice to the importance of mental health education.

This "Call Me Crazy" movie trailer posted on YouTube made me cry. 

It stirred up a lot of emotions and I could relate in so many ways. It is true that your mind is where you think, dream, struggle BUT...you have a spirit inside of you that helps you overcome the natural man. Let me explain what I mean by this. Say I have a hard time forgiving myself & letting things go (a disease symptom by the way). I can learn healthy coping skills and tools that will help me overcome negative emotions and put them behind me. I don't have control over the fact that I have this disease but I do have control over "how" I let it affect my life. Will I be a bystander in my own life? Will I let (yes let, you do still have a choice) this disease take over and control my life? Or will I be an active participant in my recovery? Will I use the right tools to fight my battles against depression? I promise that today, while my kids are gone, that I will use the Empty your Bucket tool. Will you? Comment below!

I have often said that a mental illness is not only a physiological disease but it is also a thinking disease. As I was reading my BRIDGES Teachers Manual I was amazed at the "HOW" & the "WHY" mental illness alters our thoughts. My whole goal for my blog is to not only record my journey towards healing but to empower women AND their families, to initiate dialogue and understanding, & to help women realize how much control they really do have over their illness. 

In the beginning a person, like myself, can feel like they are "broken." This feeling generates negative emotions that are self-destructive like helplessness, hopelessness, & despair. Training in how to overcome your negative emotions does wonders for your recovery and happiness.

There is HELP, HOPE, RECOVERY, HAPPINESS, JOY, HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS, BALANCE, & PRODUCTIVITY available to those who struggle and this pertains to ALL of the mental illnesses, not just mine. 

KUDOS to Lifetime for addressing what once was a taboo subject and kudos to NAMI for being able to get their messages out there among the general public (I can't advocate for or approve of the movie, YET...since I haven't seen it. I hope it's clean with no bad parts!). During my BRIDGES teacher training I was very impressed with the resources and education NAMI provides. Please support NAMI, they do so much good for those with a mental illness, their families, and in educating the public.

You Are Capable!

"If we did all we were

capable

of doing, we would

literally astound ourselves."

-Thomas Edison, inventor

I was listening to the radio last night and the lyrics of a song said that no matter what she did or how hard she tried she couldn't change. That's a lie. Satan uses this deception to get us to give up, to STOP trying. There is always hope. Satan will try to make you think that there's no use trying...he wants you to feel despair and laughs when you do. Don't let him win. 

I KNOW that God doesn't want us to despair and give up. I know that He will see you through any obstacle or trial...all you have to do is turn towards Him through obedience, faith, and trust.

NEVER NEVER NEVER give up.

"Our God Will Never Us Forsake"

I was reading in the Ensign this morning and read an article entitled, "Our God Will Never Us Forsake." Below is a quote from it. You can go here to read the full article.

 "Trials come to each of us.
Living righteously does not mean that our lives will be free of problems or sorrow, but no matter what hardships we face, 

we can always rely on Heavenly Father and His Son. 

They will not forsake us, and 
           
                 They will give each of us the strength 
                 
                                      to face whatever may come, 
             
                                               so that in the end we can truly say, 

                                                                                     'All is well!'"

Pioneer Day

In my church we celebrate the day the Mormon pioneers arrived in the Salt Lake Valley on July 24, 1847. They came to Utah to escape persecutions...they fled after: homes and livestock were burned and destroyed, family members shot and killed or who died from exposure to the weather while fleeing angry mobs, an unfortunate and shocking "extermination order" from Missouri governor Boggs and after our beloved prophet Joseph Smith was martyred in a jail in Carthage, Illinois.

When they finally arrived in Utah the pioneers planted crops, family gardens, and trees and the desert waste place of Utah flourished and became beautiful. They also developed friendly relationships with the local Indians.

One of my ancestors was in the Willie Hancart Company that faced great difficulties because of the weather and lack of sufficent food and clothing. My grandma is my hero. She left her family and a young man who was interested in her but who didn't join The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. She was 24 and considered an old maid but her bravery in starting a journey across the Atlantic Ocean without the support of a family is commendable and admirable. It was her belief in Jesus Christ and her new found faith that drove her forward. 

Because of many miracles along the way her life was spared and she met another Englishman when she arrived in Utah who she later married and raised 14 children with. A few years ago a movie was made based on true stories from the experiences of pioneers in the Martin and Willie Hancart company. Here is the trailer from that movie called "17 Miracles."

"Breaking the Silence on Suicide"

Thanks, Seth, for being brave enough to share your story with KSL 5 news. I agree with you...healing does come through helping other people.

Letters from Home

A few weeks ago I wrote a letter addressing it to my Heavenly Father.
I told Him everything. I was seeking guidance on whether on not I should sign up for this mentoring program
or if it would be too much for me to handle.
I wrote about my fears,worries & my hopes.
I listed 6 things that I "am" willing to put on hold so that I could create the necessary time and space in my life for this program. 
I am making room for success.
There are changes that I need to make in my life and WANT to make in my life.
One year from now I do NOT want to be in the same place I am now. 
I do not want my cycles of depression to last 2 1/2 months at a time.
I want to know what my triggers are for depression and have the tools I need to avoid them.
I already know what triggers my anxiety and I am careful and wise in avoiding the ones I have control over.


I then addressed a letter to myself from my Father and carefully listened to the Spirit to know what to write.
OH, MY.
What a powerful experience.
I cried and felt so loved. The Spirit was so strong.

I felt that I should share a little bit from that letter:

"I know this bipolar illness has been very challenging for you. It pains and saddens me to see you depressed or struggling with feelings of despair or hopelessness. I want to see you healed. I want you to feel loved despite the depression. I want you to TRUST me, relying on me to help inspire, comfort, & uplift you during those times. You are so strong. I want you to believe it. I want you to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that YOU ARE STRONG. You were a strong warrior in the preexistence during the war in Heaven. You were unwavering, strong and steadfast. You were a great help to many thousands of people. Your influence was GREAT. You are a very choice spirit. Because of the battle skills you have and demonstrated against Satan and the powers of darkness I knew and trusted that you would be brave in facing the lonely darkness of depression. I needed you to go through this trial of depression so that you would know how to succor those of my precious children who are downtrodden. Your influence will be great. You will be able to help lift many thousands of people who suffer as you have suffered. I need you to be able to be there for them. I love you. Keep fighting, be undaunted, trust ME, put your trust in ME and I will lead, guide, comfort and help you in your journey towards healing. You are a choice spirit. I love you and need your help and leadership to rescue others.
-----------------------------------
Just typing this made me cry.

 I strongly encourage my readers to try this experience. 

Write a letter to God and then carefully listen to what comes into your mind and heart and write it down. You will feel His love.
You will be amazed as you learn things about yourself that you didn't know or have forgotten.

Depression is a battle that can be won and I am fiercely determined to do it.

Knick knack

Not long after I blogged on 

April 10th

my hubbie and I were on a date

and we went shopping at 

the cutest old mercantile store.

They sell some gifts & 

a bunch of old-fashioned candy.

I saw this magnet  there that grabbed my attention

 and I just had to buy it.

It reads, 

HOPE

...each sunrise

gives hope

to your dreams

& light

for your way.

There are no such thing as coincidences. 

I know that my Father wants me to focus on Hope, 

which is to TRUST in His promises.

HOPE is Trusting in the Lord's Promises

I love watching Mormon Times on ksl.com

You can go here to watch full episodes. 

They post a new episode every Sunday.

I watched an episode yesterday about hope.

Gerald Lund quoted President Deiter F Urchtdorf who said that 

HOPE

is choosing to 

TRUST

 in the Lord's promises.

Some examples of the Lord's promised blessings  that were mentioned are:

Forgiveness: Our mistakes need not condemn us

Protection

Premonition

Guidance

JOY

Happiness

Promise of Divine Revelation

Families can be Forever

Priesthood: has the power to HEAL, Bless, Instruct & Direct

and many more.

It's common for those struggling with depression 

to have a hard time

feeling the Spirit. 

In turn, it becomes easy to feel

like Heavenly Father isn't listening 

to my prayers & 

that you are all alone.

BUT,

like Gerald Lund said,

"The more we FOCUS on those

promises 

the more HOPE we have 

& out of that comes that STRENGTH,

that FAITH that 'I can endure this,'

AND if I DO,

then my promises are sure."