"For things to change..."

"You can't talk your way out of a problem you've behaved yourself into."

--Stephen Covey, author of "Seven Habits of Highly Effective People"


This is something I heard while listening to a book on our drive. It really stood out to me because of all the empty promises I made while in the denial stage of my disease. (This was me trying to "talk" myself out of trouble). Mental illnesses do affect behavior but that doesn't necessarily excuse all of one's accountability.

I remember asking my LDS family therapist about wanting to differentiate between what things I did (while being diagnosed 10 years ago) that I needed to repent of and what was simply "the disease." She said, "I don't believe that's your responsibility. Leave it in the hands of your Savior, the perfect judge."

I started crying after she told me that. It was such a relief. It was like I was given permission to let go of a heavy burden and so I did.

Initially in the diagnosis process of my disease I was so mean to my husband, my mother-in-law and to some other people who were only trying to help. I was hurting and in denial and I didn't trust anyone. I have felt the godly sorrow and made the necessary restitution to help repair relationships. And I know this is "good enough" in my Father in Heaven's eyes because of the peace I feel.

I chose to seek out therapy so I could better understand my disease and know what steps to take that allow recovery and healing to take place.

I choose to take those steps!

I choose to be careful of what I eat. For this week of camping I bought more fruit and veggies for our menu than junk food. Yay!

And yes, I need to choose to go to bed at 10:00 at night. I now realize it's the first step on the downward slope of my depression cycles. -Sigh- I've been so stubborn and prideful about this critical need I have. Sleep is essential.


"For things to change...I MUST CHANGE."

--Kirk Duncan, President and founder of 3 Key Elements


***I had cell coverage!!